As an eating disorder therapist, I hear a lot of people say they feel like they can’t stop eating. They say they’re out of control, that food has a hold on them, and they just can’t resist certain things (normally the food deemed "bad"). For many, it can feel like inner conflict, like an angel and a devil on their shoulders shouting at them. Food can certainly feel like an addiction for many people, with powerful thoughts and feelings commanding them to eat. It can feel like a yearning need, with real distress at the thought of not getting what they want. This is not simply just about willpower or weakness, this is a distressing battle of the mind. It can have such a huge impact on daily life and mental health. This distress can be indicative of disordered eating or an eating disorder, for which people deserve tailored help/therapy. There can be similarities in how addictions and eating disorders develop and are maintained, but there are important differences when it comes to treatment/ therapy. Addictions and eating disorders both may have roots in traumaFor those who binge eat or emotionally eat, it can serve a purpose as a way of coping, whether through distraction, soothing, or bringing joy. Similarly to addictions like drugs or alcohol, food can sometimes be used as a way to manage difficult life experiences, adversity, discrimination, or past trauma. Trauma doesn’t just mean “capital T” trauma e.g. a single traumatic event (which may be diagnosed as PTSD). There is “complex trauma” which relates to early childhood relationships, attachment issues, neglect, or emotional abuse. Experiences of racism, ableism, transphobia and other forms of discrimination are also traumatic. These experiences can cause long-term damage to self-worth and create underlying shame, which then drives coping mechanisms like substance use, gambling, and disordered eating. However, eating has the added influence of diet culture and the idealisation of thinness, which is the strongest environmental predictor of the development of eating disorders. Many disordered eating behaviours are normalised and even praised in our society, so they can hide in plain sight. Trauma can also stem from the experience of being bullied, abused and publicly shamed for weight or appearance, especially for those in larger bodies who face stigma and anti-fat biases. What’s the difference between disordered eating and addiction? With an addiction, in theory, you can give up the substance (though that’s not easy, of course). But you can’t give up food, you have to work on your entire relationship with it. This involves exploring the factors that shaped how you eat, including societal messages, family narratives, and early life experiences. A common approach to treating addiction is through 12-step programs, such as Alcoholics Anonymous. These programs typically focus on abstinence, i.e. not taking substances. However, with food, abstinence isn’t an option (or when it is, in the form of restriction, this can be more harmful). Overeaters Anonymous follows a similar 12-step model, based on the idea of abstaining from "overeating" or binge eating. The term "overeating" itself carries moral judgment and assumes there’s a "normal" or "correct" amount to eat, which isn’t necessarily true. Everyone has different needs and recovery is about improving relationships with food—not restricting it further. Trying not to binge or emotionally eat often backfires because deprivation fuels it. Abstinence-based approaches can reinforce the idea that not eating "too much" is a matter of willpower—when in reality, it’s way more complex. The assumption that people "just eat too much" and should simply stop is a harmful oversimplification. It fuels blame and shame, which those who binge eat or emotionally eat often already experience. Many people struggling with disordered eating have strong inner critics, so a key part of healing is building self-compassion. The Binge-Restrict Cycle Binge eating often happens in a cycle of restriction, bingeing, and shame. When a diet "fails" or a person eats more than they intended, they may feel overwhelming guilt and shame. This can lead them to restrict again in an attempt to regain control, only to inevitably lead back to bingeing. You can read a more in-depth explanation of binge eating, with diagrams, here. Trying to eat less or avoid bingeing will only make things worse because it keeps the cycle of shame and restriction going. This is why abstinence-based approaches can do more harm than good—they fuel disordered eating by reinforcing deprivation. When you're deprived, both your body and mind will scream for more. Many people binge eat at night, in part because they haven’t eaten enough during the day. It may seem counter-intuitive, but sometimes the first stage of healing binge eating is to work on eating enough. This isn’t the case for everyone, and many potential underlying factors need to be explored too, e.g. childhood experiences, trauma, relationships, attachment and more. This is why therapy can be so important. It provides a space with someone who understands and can help unpack these issues. Healing Your Relationship with Food When eating feels like a food addiction, it's likely part of dieting or disordered eating. Food in itself is not an addictive substance like drugs, so it’s more of a psychological and emotional feeling of being addicted. Cravings and “food noise” are likely due to hunger, forbidden foods, calorie restriction, or simply just not eating enough. Sugar is often something cited as addictive but this is also the thing most likely to be restricted. When sugar is “bad” or forbidden, it awakens the inner angry teenager who will rebel and want it no matter what. This is where the inner conflict can come in and cause distress.
Recovering from disordered eating involves exploring its root causes, building awareness and self-compassion, and understanding how dieting and bingeing cycles work and the impact of diet culture. Many people struggling with food also have underlying self-worth and self-esteem challenges, which can be worked through in therapy. I believe healing is absolutely possible, as a practitioner and as somebody with lived experience of a difficult relationship with food and my body. I’ve worked for many years on my relationship with food, exercise and body image, and now it’s a privilege and an honour to help others through this. It’s a process that requires time and patience, but the freedom of no longer constantly worrying about food and your body is totally worth it in the end, trust me. If you’d like to start counselling sessions and improve your relationship with food, get in touch for a free 15-minute introductory call on Zoom.
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Binge eating disorder (BED) is one of the most prevalent eating disorders, with many people caught in a difficult cycle of negative thoughts and difficult emotions. It can often be a secretive or shameful thing to talk about, so that’s why it’s important we do talk about it! Whether someone has a diagnosis or not, binge eating can have a huge impact on a person’s life. So let’s dive into what binge eating is, the binge cycle, and most importantly, what can help stop binge eating. Diagnostic criteria According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), the diagnostic criteria for Binge Eating Disorder (BED) involves:
What is a binge cycle? A binge cycle, similar to a diet cycle, is a pattern of behaviour, thoughts and feelings which keep people trapped in disordered eating cycles. It often involves periods of restriction, followed by binges, followed by difficult emotions such as guilt and shame. This isn’t the case for everyone as different people experience binge eating in different ways, this is based more on those who diet or restrict in some way as that becomes part of the driver for binge eating. Here is an example of the binge/diet cycle and some thought processes that may be happening throughout: Sometimes there can be a trigger, or a number of triggers, for each binge episode, such as a stressful day at work, a bad body image day, a difficult event, or even just boredom. For people with ADHD, they may particularly be seeking dopamine hits (i.e. a feel-good hit) to cope through the day. Food is a common way to seek pleasure, for those who don’t binge eat too. Often emotional times and stress in life impact the ways we eat – some people turn to food, others are turned off food. It can be helpful to understand your processes and try to approach this with less self-judgement. Sometimes it’s not about the amount of biscuits you eat, but more how you feel about it after. Enjoying some biscuits to comfort yourself is completely okay. If you allow yourself them you’re more likely to enjoy them instead of feeling terrible guilt after. Guilt and shame Oh, the post-binge guilt! It can be such a crushing, horrible feeling. During a binge, many people can just feel numb and zone out, or others may feel enjoyment, or a freedom and even exhilaration. But it’s usually after (though this is different for different people) that the difficult emotions set in… guilt, shame, disgust, fear, anxiety, self-hatred. This can lead to feeling in a really dark place; the self-blame, negative thoughts, anger, frustration and more. It’s a horrible, painful, process. And it’s this that leads into the cycle again, with thoughts which may sound like “I’m not allowed to eat again now”, or “diet starts Monday”, or “I’ve got to be good”, or “I hate myself”. This leads back into restriction again, and then the cycle repeats. So, how do we break the cycle? It can be difficult to do this alone, so therapy, support groups, helplines, perhaps also nutrition support (from a non-diet nutritionist or dietitian) can be helpful. In my experience as a therapist working with people who binge eat, initially it can be helpful for a client just to unburden on someone who “gets it”. Many people are holding binge eating as their “secret” as it can feel embarrassing to talk to others about it. There is a lot of stigma around binge eating, especially for people at higher weights who may have had pressure on them to diet and who likely experience weight stigma. Firstly, to legitimise that this is an incredibly difficult thing that is likely having an impact on your life and mental health. It’s not about being weak or having no willpower, and it’s certainly not your fault. For those who diet, it can be helpful to learn about the harms of diet culture and to look at anti-diet and intuitive eating approaches. Further weight loss attempts will only keep the cycle going, so giving up dieting can be important, which might be quite a terrifying idea for some, understandably! There may be some body acceptance work to be done if body image is an issue, and/or an unlearning of thin ideals and diet culture, but there are plenty of resources available now to help on this journey (I’ve included some recommendations at the end). Working on the fear of fatness or fear of weight gain in therapy can be important, and the deeper rooted narratives and experiences influencing this. Research has often been based on using Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) for binge eating, as this can help challenge the thoughts, feelings and behaviours. I’m personally trained in an Integrative way, which means I draw on theories from CBT as well as person-centred, humanistic and psychodynamic modalities and other theories too. It also means I can adapt my way of working to best suit clients as everyone has different learning and communication needs, which is especially important as I work with many individuals with autism and ADHD. To break the cycle of binge eating, there can be underlying factors which need to be explored, so it can be helpful in therapy to explore childhood and body image/eating experiences in the early years. How we learn to eat and how we see our bodies is influenced by social and cultural factors, plus the media (TV, films, social media etc) and by socio-economic factors such as food scarcity (growing up with little food available can lead to binge eating in later life). Family narratives and caregivers’ relationships with food also have an impact, as children can learn to calorie count or diet from an early age which then becomes the “norm”. There may have been difficult childhood experiences or trauma which influenced the need for a coping mechanism (binge eating). It’s never just one thing that leads to binge eating, or any eating disorder, it’s a complex mix of factors which is why exploring the bigger picture is so important. Often body image and disordered eating issues are linked to deeper-rooted self-worth issues, which is why therapy can be so important in helping those who binge eat. Understanding the underlying factors, as well as working to break the binge cycle, and learning new strategies and tools for managing emotions is all important to help recover from binge eating. If you’d like more information on my counselling service, please click here. To enquire about availability for counselling sessions please contact me through my contact form. Book recommendations What We Don’t Talk About When We Talk About Fat, and “You Just Need to Lose Weight": And 19 Other Myths About Fat People, both by Aubrey Gordon (also podcast, Maintenance Phase and documentary, Your Fat Friend) Eating Disorders Do Not Discriminate by Dr Chukwuemeka Nwuba and Bailey Spinn Beyond the Shadow of a Diet by Judith Matz and Ellen Frankel Just Eat It by Laura Thomas Anti-diet by Christie Harrison (also podcast, Food Psych) The Body Is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor |
AuthorMel Ciavucco |