Writing can be a powerful tool for exploring and processing emotions. As a writer and counsellor, I have experienced for myself how writing can be deeply therapeutic. We pour parts of ourselves into our words, even sometimes without realising it. Looking back, I can see that my early fiction writing was a way of processing my feelings and experiences, as well as my journalling. Writing blogs helped (and continues to help) explore themes like trauma, social inequalities, eating disorders, and body acceptance, which are central to my work. Below are some suggested writing exercises that may help build self-compassion and improve body image. Some of these exercises are more structured than others, so do whichever ones feel right for you. The key is to write in a way that feels good or helpful, without any writing rules or pressures. Get rid of the “shoulds”When it comes to body image and appearance ideals, there are often strong social and cultural narratives that tell us what we “should” or “shouldn’t” look like. These are based on appearance ideals which often centre on thinness, youth and whiteness (and muscularity for some). There can be pressures to fit into gender binaries – to look feminine or masculine in certain ways. Being thin is often seen as being “healthier” and more attractive (which is not the case) which can lead to “should” about losing weight and this can lead to disordered eating. If you struggle with negative thoughts involving words like should/shouldn’t and must/must not, these can be based on other people’s expectations/societal pressures. Examples may include: “You shouldn’t wear X at your age” “You should lose weight” “You must not eat X” “Bigger people shouldn’t wear bikinis/crop tops/shorts (etc)” “Not good enough” thoughts are another example: “You’re not thin enough” “You’re not clever enough” All of these are critical thoughts and are not helpful as they often only leave you feeling worse about yourself. So if you’re struggling with any negative thoughts like these, get yourself some single sheets of paper (not in a notebook unless you’re ok with ripping the pages out). Write down these negative thoughts and get them all out on the page…. AND THE RIP THEM TO PIECES! Or BURN THEM, if you can do so safely. This symbolically says to yourself how nonsense these thoughts are and how you don’t need them. Negative thoughts can get in the bin! Reframe Negative Body Image Thoughts Another way of dealing with critical thoughts is by reframing them.
An example: Critical Thought: “I’m fat and ugly” Feelings: Sad, ashamed Counter-thoughts: “I am loved and valued” “My appearance is the least interesting thing about me” “Being fat isn’t inherently bad” “Fat isn’t a negative character trait” “I deserve compassion” “Our society has high beauty standards which are impossible to achieve” “I don’t want to live my life trying to impress others” “If others judge me on my looks then maybe I don’t want to be friends with those kinds of people!” I deserve to feel good about myself no matter what my size” You don’t have to write as many as that, I was just giving plenty of examples here to get you started. I wouldn’t suggest including “you’re not fat” as a counter-thought as it only serves to reinforce that being in a bigger body is a bad thing, when it’s not. People of all different sizes struggle with body image, which proves it’s not just about your size, it’s about your thoughts and feelings (though larger people experience higher levels of stigma and discrimination). The Unsent Letter Sometimes people with body image problems have experienced bullying or teasing about the way they look. This might have been a kid at school, a teacher, a family member or a so-called friend. People's words stick with you from a young age. So if you can recall somebody who made you feel bad about yourself, this one’s for you…
15-Minute Writing and RewritingIf you’re struggling with a specific body image concern, or have mixed feelings/feel confused about something, try this freewriting and editing approach:
Check-in with yourself after – how was that beneficial? Do you feel any different now? Perhaps your perspective has changed? Journalling prompts Journaling doesn’t have to be perfect or profound. You don’t need fancy words or structured entries, just write freely, without judgement. Try these prompts:
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AuthorMel Ciavucco |